I don't think i can keep this up anymore, my reasons to live in this cesspool of a shitty planet is decreasing. I did thought about a certain solution but the universe for whatever convoluted wisdom decides not to install courage into this brain keeps preventing me from applying that solution. My life has way too many failures and every attempt to fix or at the very least salvage whatever useful has yielded little to no success. I just can't identify the force that's keeping me from just ending those problems from dragging me to this plane of miserable existence.